Setting BoundariesTM with Your Adult Children Kindle Edition

Setting BoundariesTM with Your Adult Children Kindle Edition
Author: Visit ‘s Allison Bottke Page ID: B003FPN3WY

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File Size: 1169 KBPrint Length: 225 pagesPublisher: Harvest House Publishers (February 1, 2008)Publication Date: February 1, 2008 Sold by:  Digital Services, Inc. Language: EnglishID: B003FPN3WYText-to-Speech: Enabled X-Ray: Enabled Word Wise: Not EnabledLending: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled Best Sellers Rank: #35,493 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store) #5 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child #21 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child #29 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Religion & Spirituality > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Family
One day I was sitting in my recliner, not having a pity party, but just evaluating my life. I have a son who is a successful doctor. Another owns his own plumbing company. Another is sought after in the field of computer programming.

I also have two grown children that I sometimes refer to as my "gifts- that just keep on giving". These ‘kids’ are 32 (my youngest son) and 36 years old (my husband’s bipolar daughter who is also on street drugs). If ever the Lord has spoken to me (and I know He has)..it was this day. Thoughts were flowing. "I don’t know what NORMAL is. I tried to envision what it would be like to have a family gathering where my functioning kids could interact with the two ‘outsiders’. What would it be like to not cringe when the phone rings with the next drama, to plan a vacation for me and my husband where we could just go and have a GREAT TIME without worrying about which one of them were having a crisis! I went on to the realization that "I am all USED UP. There is no more. There is NO joy in my life. No smiles. No laughter. No fun. No hope". Just me, waiting for the next round. My functioning children don’t even KNOW me anymore because I have been so consumed with the two that require my time, energy, money and support.

Keep in mind, this was NOT a depressing awakening. It was LIBERATING! But I realized I needed a support system because it wasnt going to be easy to keep from falling back into my routine of "fixing" everything for every one else. I started looking for reading material and am so thankful that I ran across this book. I empathized with the author about her son – she and I shared the same feelings and some of the same experiences.
I was listening to Neil Boran one day and he spoke about giving..I wanted to know as a Christian – when do you "stop" giving – and he highly recommended this book "Bottoke"..sorry just can’t think of the name right now and I lent it to my sister. We have had a family crisis for almost 4 years now where we have been supporting our brother (50 years) and it is going nowhere. He continues to be destructive, critical about the world, and does not take responsibility for "his" responsibilities. He continues to make things worse for him and his sisters (6) have been picking up the pieces…this book brought great insight into the situation, it made me realize that I need to trust God for his well being, I am part of the problem..and now sharing with my other sisters who continue to "feel" sorry for our brother. It does not help him and I have now taken a firm stance with the understanding that God does not "expect" me to take on my brother’s responsibilities..yes we help, we love, we try guidance and support but enough is enough because when he does not listen – it becomes our fault..and it is true. We enable them to depend on our support and they can do as they please as there are no consequences for their actions. God needs to be his support not me or my sisters..( my brother is a Christian and has been longer then I have). His actions and behaviours were confusing me in my own walk with the Lord and it was scaring me..so this book has brought me guidance, support, comfort and action on how to deal with this. Most of all it helped me deal with my guilt and build my "trust".

Setting BoundariesTM with Your Adult Children Kindle Edition Setting BoundariesTM with Your Adult Children Kindle Edition Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children is packed full of practical Setting BoundariesTM with Your Aging Parents Kindle Edition Allison Bottke is the author of Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children and Setting Boundaries with Difficult People and the founder of the SANITY Support Setting Boundaries with Your Aging Parents Kindle Edition Setting Boundaries with Your Aging Parents eBook Allison Bottke Amazon com au Kindle StoreSetting Boundaries with Your Adult Children Kindle Edition Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children eBook Allison Bottke Carol Kent Amazon com au Kindle Store

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